


How Selina met Tim

by Who_First



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-22
Updated: 2012-01-28
Packaged: 2017-10-29 22:19:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/324780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_First/pseuds/Who_First
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four Times She Watched and One Time She Kept</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

## 

The first time she saw the boy Selina was so surprised she ran into a wall. Being the cat she was, she immediately puffed up and glared around in case anyone saw that, when she was sure no one even knew she was there she sank back into the shadows on the roof besides the boy’s. Then Selina was leaning back against part of the roof and settled in to watch the tiny boy.

It was probably only twenty minutes, felt like hours, before Batman swung into view and was darting quickly across the roofs right in front of the boy. Selina could see the boy holding something up to his face but it took a minute to realize it was a camera.

Selina had to laugh at the idea that Batman ultimate stalker had his own that he can’t have known about. If he had known about the little boy Selina was sure that the kid would be at home under lock and key. In any case the little boy kitten was climbing down the fire escape and walking away. So Selina, like any normal cat, followed along and watched until her newest toy arrived at home which was a very large home.

Wasn’t it sad the such a cute little kitten would wander Gotham at night for pictures when he lived in a place like that.

~~~~

The second time she saw him they were both watching as Robin fought against some of Ivy’s plants, _oh Birdy Boy yellow green and red are an eyesore_ , and the kitten’s camera was flashing away in his hiding spot. It really made her wonder how no one else had ever spotted him.

Then the fight was over, _and the good guys triumphed how …normal_ , Ivy was going back to Arkham, _like that ever worked_ , and Bird Boy and the Dark Stalker were off before she could see where they went. But the kitten must have missed it, because he stood up on his roof top peering around in the dark, before scuttling down one fire escape to jump to another building and get all the way down.

And Selina really wanted to why the kitten thought it was alright to jump from fire escape to fire escape with a thirty foot drop to pancaked kitties.

 _I’m going to steal all his parents clothing and leave a smelly dog in their house._

~~~~

She started calling him Stray in her mind. Always top at her thoughts was disgust for the parents that could let such a tiny kitten roam Gotham of all places at night. What was even worse was one night she followed him home and a gang of street thugs picked up his trail through Crime Alley.

Selina was a cat in human form. She wasn’t about to let any ratty street punks hurt _her_ Stray Kitten. Which is why by the time  Batman and his second Robin showed up, _please stop picking color blind side kicks Bruce!,_ all they found were unconscious thugs with cat whiskers drawn on their faces.

That was only the first time though, Selina didn’t even want to think about the pedophiles she’d near eviscerated or the child pornography ring she got shut down and especially not the pimp that had stopped the boy one night and asked if he wanted to do something ‘fun’.

He deserved to have all his limbs broken.

~~~~

Then it stopped being so fun tailing her little Stray Kitten around.

When Bruce’s second Robin died, _Jason_ blown up by the Joker, they both watched on different rooftops as the Dark Knight started falling apart. And then her little Stray was running around trying to get Dick to come back to Gotham, and getting into so much trouble as he tried helping Bruce only to be pushed aside.

So when Bruce and Dick were kidnapped… Selina decided enough was enough and her little Stray didn’t need to be a stray any longer.

~~~~

“Hey Stray~”

“Ca-Catwoman?!”

“Call me Auntie Selina Kitten. You want to be able to help Bruce and Dick right?”

“What? How did you?”

“Know? I know lots of things little Stray. So you want me to teach you the business on how to keep those two idiots alive?”

“You’ll…. Help me?”

“For you Kitten? Anything.”


	2. How to be a cat lesson 0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim makes his decision to be Selina's apprentice

“Hi Timmy Kitten.” Selina was hanging upside down as Tim stared in shock. “Welcome to my play room.”

Tim slunk in while Selina grinned; _the boy really is like a little stray_. The child still had a few bruises on his face from two nights ago, and he was obviously nervous about being in the room, but he still came and that was a start. Selina was grinning wider as she flipped back off the parallel bars.

“Did you check on our bats?”

“Not exactly.” Tim rubbed at his arm looking down at the floor. “But I saw them back at the manor and Two Face is back in jail.”

“I forgot,” Selina was stretching, “Bats little stalker right? You didn’t want to go and ask?”

“They’re alright. I didn’t want to bother them.”

“Alright,” Selina stalked around her kitten, “I’m not going to force you to… but now I’m wondering if you really want me to teach you. I don’t have to Kitten.”

“No.” Tim looked up, _finally_ , with kitten eyes. “I want to learn. You’re going to teach me how to watch out for them right?”

“I’m going to teach you how to live.” Selina corrected plopping down, “I’m going to teach you my skills and you can use them however you want.”

“You’re going to teach me how to be a thief.”

“Exactly Kitten. You are very smart, you’ll do well at it.” Selina cocked her head at the unsure boy. “I’m not a bad person am I? Just because I’m a thief?”

“No!” Tim shifted on his feet before sitting and trying to copy her pose. “You helped.”

“Relax Kitten, you’ll strain something if you stay that tense.” Selina rolled her shoulders, bending forwards, still in the lotus position.

Tim still looked questioning but copied her movements anyway.

“So if you want… I can teach you to be a real cat.”

“Alright. When do we start?”

“Relax my little Stray. We already have. That will be the first lesson, always relax.”


	3. How to Flirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Selina attempts to teach Tim the intricacies of flirting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Ava~~

“Now Tim.” Selina had _sock puppets on her hands_. “This is the pretty lady you’re flirting with to steal all her valuables and this is you.”

Tim eyed the two puppets. One had a gaudy gold pin attached to it, obviously being the ‘pretty lady’, and the other had a tail pinned in the back.

“So you start with flirting.” Selina widened her eyes and started _batting her eyelashes and this was pure torture_. “Tell her how good she looks like this; ‘Oh lovely woman I have never seen one as beautiful as you please let me seduce you into giving me all your valuables’. And she’ll reply ‘oh no Kitten, first I need to have a dance and let you sweep me off my feet’.”

It only got worse as the two puppets started… _rubbing against each other._

“Only not exactly like that Tim. You can’t actually tell her that you’re going to steal something. Unless you already know that they get excited about that kind of thing.” Selina giggled as her sock puppets made obscene gestures. “Some marks think it’s a game and play along.”

“But-“

“I understand that you don’t like talking with other people but it is important that you learn how.” Selina frowned and patted Tim’s knee with the ‘pretty lady’ sock puppet. Tim decided he would need to burn these pants.

“Anyway always compliment them. Girls and boys it doesn’t matter,” Selina gave him a _look_. “No one feels like they get complimented enough and they will bend over backwards for you if you act like they have all your attention. You’re a handsome young man they’ll be proud to eat out of your palm.”

The puppets made another gesture at the word palm, and Tim felt his face catch fire.

“But Selina I don’t want to be and up front man!”

“Nonsense even if you don’t want to be you will end up as one at times.” Selina giggled again. “You need to learn how to flirt. It’s pathetic watching you try to chat people up. You make me fear for your future.”

“I don’t want to flirt with people!”

“Kitten! It’s an important life lesson! If you want to be Catlad you have to be able to flirt with the bad guys!”

“But Selina! I’m asexual!”


End file.
